I finished my first week working at the café and I’m feeling like, who the hell am I? I’m wearing an apron. I’m rolling pizza dough. I’m counting the owners money. I’m learning and observing systems. I taste all of the food. I said...I get to taste ALL of the food! I’m washing dishes. At the end of the day when I go home, I smell like a Panini grill, sandwiches, tacos, pizza, and bacon all at the same time. I’m a walking refrigerator.
I’m questioning everything I thought I knew about who I’m becoming. Do I really have to wash this mountain of dishes? How should a professional taco look? How much cheese should go on the pizza? Am I using too much seasoning on these fries? Am I telling too many details about the food to customers, practically giving away the recipe? Do I have the stamina for this? Am I moving quick enough, but not being careless? I’m being questioned about using my judgment and learning all at the same time. I’m questioning my judgment and becoming at the same time. Everything is quick and then slow and everyone is depending on me to make it happen.
It’s a new challenge and I like it! Let’s be honest though, some of it is not fun at all, but I haven’t found a job that I like everything about yet. In this fast paced environment, time flies by and I haven’t taken a break to clear my mind or my bladder and then I’m going home to rest my feet for the next day! In my previous career in the office environment, I was expected to be the go-to person for one thing in particular. No one cared about my other skills or interests. In the kitchen, I’m expected to flex my skills on a number of different things. What I don’t know, I must learn; what I do know, I must prove. It’s a completely different mindset.
Who am I becoming? I ask myself this constantly. Do I like this person and what she does for a living? The answers feel unclear and uncertain. My brain and body are so full of activity that I don’t bother to answer these questions. Instead, during the hustle of the next day, I ask less of these questions. I’m becoming someone I think. She’s different and is concerned with another level of expertise. She’s on a different path and she’s learning a new way of thinking. Having fear is the least of her worries. Making a beautifully delicious pizza is at the top of her priorities.
A Renaissance Woman? A Chef? A Food Critic? A Baker? A Business Woman? A Creator? An Inventor? A Problem Solver? A Game Changer? An Artist? An Entrepreneur? A Student? She's a chameleon that can adapt to any space. She knows how to take on an environment like 1-2-3. It’s in her nature to change up as often as necessary. Change and becoming is just a way of life for this lady... I’ve always lived like the chameleon in the depths of my mind. I’m glad that I’m growing confident in embracing this life in the depths of the earth. I am what today brings...ever evolving, Erica.